TIGHTNESS

As a writer, I do feel it necessary to keep at least reasonably abreast with current slang; although for the most part I know better than to try to use it. The pained winces of my offspring are sufficient indication that even if I am technically, in every respect, using it right, the fact that it is being emitted from someone whose hair is more than a bit achromatic gives it an essential wrongness that is actually painful. That’s okay with me. In my own misspent youth the commonly used expression for approval was “cherry” and if the current expression is now “tight” I can certainly understand its significance.

Another current expression of great approval is “sick.” Well, fine. We of the seventies often used the word “tough” to indicate awesomeness, and I am sure that the etymological roots of both expressions are intertwined somewhere.

But if my actually uttering such slang causes great disturbances in the Force, it is nothing, nothing compared to my overhearing the modern versions being used at times. I am thinking in particular of a young man (not a relation) whom I recently overheard in a cellphone conversation with his grandmother, thanking her profusely for a generous graduation gift. This is what I heard:  “Grandma!  This is sick!   Oh, Grandma, you are so tight, so super tight, oh, I love you Grandma, this is sick, you are so tight…!”

Notwithstanding the obvious sincerity of his gratitude and affection, the overheard phraseology forced me to step into a corner so that my shaking shoulders and tears of suppressed laughter would not be witnessed.

I’m telling you, it was so bitchin’.

Artist’s Notes:  She’s a “10”.  Even the crosswalk sign thinks so.  -Max