The Call

This wasn’t actually planned as a Holiday Cliffhanger, but it’ll do.  And just in case you are wondering, we’ll be continuing to update through the holidays.  Just a little gift from us to you.

Looking at this page also makes me realize how much my own perception of a Desirable Office has changed over time.  There’s no denying that Max has captured the masculine essence of a Swank Executive Office quite well in the past couple pages.  You can practically smell the fine Corinthian leather.  Back when my career goals included being James Bond, this was the kind of office I always pictured myself having some day.  Elegant.  Lots of dark wood and leather.  A wet bar.  Large window.

My friend Greg built himself an office like this.  His has a fireplace, even.  It radiates so much classical sophistication and refined taste that it’s only a shame he’s currently story-editing a pre-school show about robots.  But they are stylish robots.

My own office has a urinal.  Mounds of debris.  A small white mouse in a cage.  A collection of statuettes from Wapsi Square, Fullmetal Alchemist, Heroes of the North, and Walking Dead, all of them female and most of them armed.  Video gear.  Dumbbells.  A couple of sleeping wiener dogs.  Six computers, four of which don’t work.  A crappy glass desk that’s too dingy to even see through.  No wet bar; just a refrigerator full of soda.  And over in the corner, a vacuum cleaner that I found in a dumpster, put in a movie, and kept because I discovered it actually worked.  It is covered in a thick layer of dust from lack of use.

Got the large window, but the blinds are closed to keep the glare off my screen.  And to keep anyone to whom I happen to be married from being able to tell if I am looking at naughty pictures.

Most importantly: no phone.  I realized long ago that the only people who ever call me are people who are trying to catch me off guard so they can wangle me into doing something that I don’t want to do.  Even my mom knows to only communicate with me by email.

But I like my office.  It does not smell like fine Corinthian leather.  It smells mostly like mouse, with just a subtle hint of urinal.  And dust.  But it makes me happy and I get work done.  Drop by and visit sometime!

Call first.

Bob out.